hatslinger | MONDAY NIGHT

[ fiona will be nursing some bourbon all night in between Just Girly Things. you can probably find her brandishing some nail varnish and looking a little too excited about it. it's pretty obvious that your favorite vodka aunt fiona has had a little too much. she looks pretty happy to see you as long as you aren't jack. ]

Heyyyy, do you wanna put some of this on your nails? It'll be super cute.

[ can you trust her not to fuck it up like this?? ]

[ BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE RHYS

as in rhys is going to interject here because why are you talking to people who aren't him, fiona?? why?? ]

Hey, you never ask to paint my -- I'm not going to finish that sentence. Oh my god, shut up. Whatever. Shut up, Fiona!

[ this has to be a record for how quickly rhys was able to put his foot in his mouth, right ]

Was I supposed to assume you wanted your nails painted too? Do you want me to pick the color? Because I think crybaby blue suits you perfectly.

[ yeah that was a pretty bad burn. she probably realizes this. ]

[she absolutely can't but like, worst case scenario, it's just nail polish, it can be removed and redone. it'll be hilarious it's fine

so Clover sits down and puts her hands down on the table in front of Fiona.]

Pick a cute shade of pink for me.

[ clover you are a brave girl

she whips out the hottest hot pink she can find and steadies clover's right hand. ]

Ooookay, here we go! [ she's actually pretty good at this, making precise strokes down clover's fingers. the occasional time she does screw it up, she has a little napkin to dab off the excess. ] If I had the shit to do it, I'd give you a little flower pattern. It'd be cute.

[listen, she has gotten herself into way worse, a botched manicure is nothing

or would be nothing if Fiona wasn't good at this!! and Clover looks super chipper about her manicure happening here.]

Oooohh... If you're careful, you can use a toothpick to make polka dots! [said like someone who has made many a clumsy four-leaf clover on her nails before but also, "if you're careful" @ drunken vodka aunt, playing with fire much, Clover] And if you can make polka-dots, you can make at least a flower.

Are there even any toothpicks here? I hope not. I'd hate to get stabbed in the eyes with one of those.

[ someone could totally murder with those, clover, duh. instead, fiona is perhaps too bold and taps the brush on her finger, then applies it directly to clover's nail. she sort of.. moves it around a little awkwardly, then lifts it. it's just a misshapen circle. ]</small It was supposed to be a flower.. shit.

[You can murder with a lot of things?? toothpicks are low on her concerns list even if the eye thing gets her to make a face.] Gross.

[but oh fiona......... points for effort??? this is honestly kind of charming, vodka aunt doing her tipsy best]

Now I've got one polka dot. It's fine, I've got nine other fingers to try with.

[Honestly?

Yes. Yes she does.

But more importantly--]

No.

I'm not a girly person.

[BUT SHE'S STARING AT THE NAIL POLISH SO WISTFULLY.]

I'm not exactly a debutante, but it's still fun. Live a little, Tsukuyo.

[ she drags out the end of her name a little there. ]

[Hmmmmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmmm]

Something like that would be wasted on someone like me anyway.

[But she wants it.]

Well it's not like the AI's itching to use all .5 ounces of this nail polish. Not even her color. She'd look like shit in green. Like an infection or something.

[ surely you're convinced now tsukuyo ]

[totally convinced]

Green's not really my color either.

[...a beat]

Probably.

Not that I know anything about this.

Ah, erm, okay....

[what lessons are you teaching the impressionable youth, Fiona!!]

[just kidding, Marinette is from France, the legal drinking age is like 6]

[She is, however, nervous. She hasn't been to many sleepovers, and she's always been really shy and awkward]

How can I put this on?

[please put it on for her, Fiona, she knows how but it'll be a Disaster if she tries]

Edited 2016-06-15 01:08 (UTC)

Here, I'll do one hand and you can do the other. It'll be fine.

[ maybe it won't be fine

either way, she goes to steady marinette's hand and chooses a royal blue to paint on. she's pretty quiet while she does this, focusing on the strokes to make sure it's not messed up. she'd talk more while doing it if she wasn't tipsy. when she finishes, she holds out the brush for marinette. ]

Your turn! You can do it. It's easy.

[ don't say that fiona it'll be sadder when she screws up ]

[it absolutely won't be fine. Marinette watches as she does this, trying to strike up conversation]

Er, you know! This was a really good idea. I haven't been to a lot of sleepovers, but this is fun. A chance to get to know each other, right?

[then she stares at her unpainted hand with trepidation]

Okay, here I go!

[famous last words]

Thanks. Minako gave me the idea. She said she'd never really done her nails, which is like, basically a teenage girl crime in my opinion.

[ she'll lean in real close and watch what marinette's doing

too close ]

Well, those kind of crimes are easily cracked!

[yes, too close. With the proximity, Marinette flubs, and paints the tip of her index finger]

--Ack!

[and then drops the brush, rip]

Please, my nails have been chipped for a week now and it was driving me crazy.

[Surprise, Emily is super down for girl's night apparently. Her tone is as dry as ever but she's checking out whatever color nail polish Fiona brought over with obvious interest.]

What're the options?

[...She's probably not going to let a drunk person do it for her though.]

Let's see..

[ she'll drag that 'see' out until she goes over to get the full collection of polish and brings them back wrapped in her arms. she sits them down on the table and they all sort of roll away. ]

This one's 'blackest night'. Sounds good for an edgy girl like you. There's also 'gang green', 'that one melon in a fruit salad you avoid eating', 'bloody napkin'..

I call black!

[YEAH HE SURE IS HERE with absolutely no problems getting make-up put on him. Let him do people's hair.]

[ How did Jack find out about this? Did he get his own flyer just to rub it in? Did Rhys snitch because he's #obsessed? It is a mystery. But regardless, Jack is definitely showing up at the start of the party to express his opinion on the matter. ]

Yeah, reaaaal mature. "This is a girl's only party"- [ Jack does an imitation of a girlish giggle here, a true teehee ] "No boys allowed, except they actually are, but not Jack."

[ He crosses his arms and leans against the door frame at this point. ]

So just pointing this out: I wouldn't have wanted to come anyways. But now I do. Just because you called me out. Ergo, this is stupid and you're stupid. [ handsome jack: also the epitome of maturity ]

[ there's just a mile long stare from fiona. who told him?? WAS IT RHYS? it was probably rhys. either way, not they had to deal with this problem. god can't you just let them listen to katy perry in peace jack?

she points the nail polish brush right at jack menacingly. ]

Don't you have somewhere else to be an ass? We'll throw you out if we have to.

[ she's starting to regret not having done this in the viewport where they could lock him out. ]

Also, you are way too good at giggling like a school girl. Kinda creepy.

Not if everyone comes to your stupid party, no.

[ What's the point of being an ass if no one is around to hear it? It's the modern tree in an empty forest question... He makes a dismissive noise, then waves his hand around vaguely. ]

And it's one of my many talents. Don't be jealous. I'm great at voices. I could be, like, a voice actor or something. I don't know.

I think you're a little too far in your career track to change now.

[ considering the kill count and all. she says this in a teasing enough voice, though. honestly this was pretty hilarious and she's almost glad jack showed up to make an ass of himself. every party needs a token ass. ]

You sure you don't want to paint your nails? I bet Taylor'd be into it.

[ It's never too late to add to your resume is what's on his tongue, because he's Handsome Jack. It's not like he couldn't just pick up something else that proves why he's the best. Luckily, this is less interesting than arguing the second point, since he waves his hand dismissively. ]

Yeah, I'm sure. Have you seen these hands?

[ He holds them up and scoffs ]

Like, if you want color on them, whatever, but I just go with plain manicures for a reason, kiddo.

[ Jack is definitely one of those CEOs that gets manicures. Also unkempt nails can be inconvenient when personally murdering someone. It's mostly that case. ]

Don't worry, you can be a girl too, dude. We can call you Pretty Jack, find you a nice dress, give you a makeover. You'll fit right in.

[ she's kidding but that would actually be a great idea. ]

[ Jack rolls his eyes and shakes his head ]

What? No. No? Just no.

[ He makes an exasperated noise, then waves his hand from side to side lightly. ]

Listen, as fantastic as my legs would look in a dress, no, thanks. I'm here to complain because this Pandoran is calling me out for no goddamn reason.

Aww, funkiller.

[ she's disappointed in you, jack. ]

"Pandoran", huh? Sounds space racist, are you a space racist. Why did she call you out, huh? Relationship gone bad? Oooh, are you two a couple?

I mean, pro—

[ Jack is about to straight up admit that he's space racist, because fuck bandits, but, no. Rose continues, and it's easy to see how the revulsion comes to Jack's face immediately at that last part. ]

Oh, do you seriously- Jesus, no. Never. She's not even anything close to my type, oh my god.

Could make you a girl.

[She's got the kunai she was brought with in her hand, flipping it up and catching it again. THREATENING PEOPLE WITH CASTRATION AFTER A MURDER MYSTERY seems safe and logical.]

Then you'd be welcome.

Uh. That's okay, thanks.

[ Jack holds up his hands as if to assert the "no thank you there", but his expression is still fairly flat and annoyed. ]

Listen, I don't even want to stay because- hell, why would I? Not really into the whole nail polish and makeup thing. The callout is just rude and uncalled for. [ no it's totally deserved actually ]

I mean, you're here.

[SO YOU KNOW...]

Seems pretty necessary to me.

If it's so stupid, then why are you here?

[Marinette is also five, you're in good company, Jack]

Uh, obviously I have to respond to this callout? That's pretty much PR protocol numero uno, kiddo.

[ Jack says this with the sort of tone like this is perfectly obvious and not that he's just a sensitive baby ]

So you came to sulk you weren't invited to the party?

[because that what it looks like, Wahsome Jack!!!]

[aka: she is a little shit, it's her]

[Girl's night out seems...safe.......

NOT THAT TSUKUYO'S GIRLY. SHE DOESN'T!! LIKE!! GIRLY THINGS!!! She's fierce and not girly at all.

Clearly.

But that all aside, girl's night out is plenty safe enough until the alcohol gets involved, and honestly? She's a lightweight. So after a few drinks, she'll just sort of...start slurring, face pink, and... changes quite a lot from her typical stoic flatness.]

Oi. You!

[Uh oh, is she talking to you....]

[Marinette is definitely out of her element, just kind of awkward participating and not really touching the alcohol, but upon being addressed, she freezes]

Y-Yes...?

[Poor Marinette...she deserves better than this.]

What's the deal with all this then? [Wow...she sounds 100% different from her usual deadpan stoic self.] First people die and then there are girly parties I can be girly without someone dying.

[There, there, Tsukuyo, of course you are.]

[what is with this woman Marinette just does not understand]

...Yes? You can? Er, I mean, of course you can! This is just... a girly party! You don't have to kill anyone!

[nailed it]

[flawless recovery there.]

Not that I'm girly! Because I'm not! I'm here for... not girly things! [help her]

Er.... what else would you be doing at a girls' sleepover party?

[such flawless recovery]

Well, that's a rude way to start a conversation, isn't it?

[seriously, tsukuyou! and it's not like harold's completely sober here either. lightweight as she also is, given her size... she knows her limits and isn't interested in getting stupid about it.

not that it matters, harold is still smiling and doesn't even seem fussed by it, despite what she's saying.]

Whassat?

[Look.

Look....Tsukuyo is just...really really bad with alcohol.

She'll be embarrassed about this later, but at least she's slightly nicer to girls than guys.]

You got somethin' to say?

[Slightly.]

I think I just said what I was trying to say.

[weren't you... listening...?

she still doesn't seem too bothered by it.]

[This logic seems to have thrown her for a loop.]

... Oi. You making fun of me?

[nailed it]

Nope! I mean, I guess I can if you want me to, but that's not what this is all about, right?

[how does socializing like a normal person even work.]

MONDAY NIGHT - girls night

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